[Simon] I was born here. I grew up here.
My friends are here, my work is here. There's only one way I'm leaving now
and that's in a coffin.
That's good to know.
[Simon] It's better if you go back to your mum.
But you said this is my home.
- Tom! - I'll drop your things round later.
Tom.
- I never want to see him again. - [click tongue]
You're not gonna waste 15 years. Tonight's when you escape.
What's going on?
- You're not taking her. - You're never gonna see me again.
- Come on! - You're never gonna see Amelie again.
- You're obsessed. - Please, Kate.
Have her.
My daughter! My family!
- [Gemma] I didn't do any of that. - No! No!
- Your wife and daughter have moved away. - No! No!
Your mother's dead and you threw your own son out,
so there's nothing left for you here.
You think you've won? Look, I'm still here.
- Where are you going? - To get my son.
We need to talk.
[car accelerating]
Shit!
Shit.
[breathing heavily] Oh, shit.
[theme music playing]
[door slams]
Uh, we need to go, your dad knows where we are.
But you said I didn't have to see him.
What does he want?
To talk to you. Kate's gone with Amelie
and he's been kicked out of his house, his work.
Could you help me, please?
I just thought once everyone left him, he'd...
Realise it was over.
Where are we going?
Home.
Come on, we have to go. [zips bag]
If he wants to talk, maybe I should.
And what would you say?
No, it's a bad idea.
[car doors unlock]
[music playing on children's ride]
[Gemma sighs]
It's fine, it's gonna be okay.
Tom?
[children laughing]
This will be the next place he'll try.
I had the locks changed.
And we can always call the police.
- [Tom] Where is everything? - [door closes]
Gone. Most of it.
But your room's in storage.
Anna sorted it before she left.
We agreed, remember? New start?
It's weird.
[sighs] Yeah, I know.
Look, Tom, in the end, I can't order him to leave.
But at least now there's less reason for him to stay.
[Tom] What are these?
I was hoping by now he'd be gone,
and we'd come back home with a blank slate
and we'd want to make some decisions about the future.
- We've never had a new kitchen. - Yeah, right?
I thought you'd help me choose.
I might move out next year. Max's sister did it when she was 16.
Lived by herself. She said it was possible.
What did your dad say about me that made you go with him?
I told you, it doesn't matter.
I thought we were...
- We were never like this. - Choose what you want.
[sighs softly]
[Tom] Mum?
- [sighs] - He's just standing there.
Tom...
No.
Tom, this isn't a good idea.
Mate.
- Can I talk to you, please? - Yeah.
- Go on, then. - No, I meant without your mum.
Say it here.
All right.
Well, I assume she's told you what's happened
with Kate and Amelie.
I'm obviously upset and I suppose I need your help.
- Simon, he's 15... - Shut up!
I was looking after my mum when I was 15,
15 is old.
Stop trying to protect him. It doesn't work, does it, mate?
I'm sorry I didn't let you in the house.
Kate was concerned after what you did.
Oh, so it's my fault?
I thought we'd sort it out in time, but now...
The thing is, I literally don't know who else to turn to.
Mum gave you some money to get a hotel room.
Yeah, well, I don't want her...
- I don't want that. - [Tom] Why not?
Stay away from him.
Sometimes children have to look after their parents.
It's not like I'm the only one to blame. She's...
You're gonna stay with your mum now, after everything we spoke about?
What are you doing?
- Asking questions. - No, you're using me to get at her.
- I just need someone who understands me. - You're obsessed.
- Well, I don't. - Okay, well, we just...
- [Tom] Leave us alone. - Just...
If I had a knife now, I'd stab you. I would. I would stab you.
Here and here and here.
You should stab yourself.
Maybe I will.
Maybe I will!
Are you okay?
What did you say to him as I walked away?
- What? - He shouted at you, "Maybe I will."
Will what?
I told him to leave us alone.
[doorbell rings]
- I'll deal with it. - Why won't he stop? What does he want?
It's fine. Go upstairs.
Hi. We've just moved in across the way. I'm Lucy.
This is Harry and Mattie.
- Gemma. - [children] Hi.
We're just exploring, meeting people, so, um...
My husband just got this new job, short notice, so, uh...
- You were in the middle of something. - No, look, um...
Maybe tomorrow, if you're around then, um, we could chat.
- Is that okay? - Perfect.
Have a good evening.
Okay, bye.
- Can you say bye-bye? - Bye!
Bye.
He's gone, then?
[Simon] Don't worry, I'm back.
Safe and sound. The breadwinner returns.
- Hey, how was physics? - [Tom] Yeah, good.
- You gonna say hello? - Hello.
Charming.
[Gemma] Thought you were back at 6:00?
Right, well, I'm an increasingly successful entrepreneur.
Most of them tend to work until the early hours.
But you are lucky to have a husband with the right priorities.
The fact that I'm back home at 7:00
is testament to the importance of my family in my life.
Well, I'm glad you spelt that out for me.
You wouldn't believe the amount of paperwork I have to do.
[gasps] You're talking to a GP.
- You packed for the weekend? - Do it in a minute.
Where are you off to? London?
Hemel Hempstead.
Ooh, the glamour.
- Quite nice, actually. What's this? - [chuckles]
Oh, I thought I'd cook something before my husband got too old to eat.
40 is the new 30.
Uh, 40 is old.
Nearly 40 yourself.
- I'll never be 40. - Magic potion?
Moisturiser.
- Is that what it is? - Yeah. Yeah, that's what it is.
So, Tom's worried that we're out of the house too much.
He wants me home earlier.
You haven't spoken to him about it, said anything?
- What do you mean? - About my hours.
About being annoyed with them or anything.
Only, he must've got it from somewhere.
No.
Okay. Okay, fine.
[chuckles]
Can you pack?
- Absolutely. - Do you know where your suitcase is?
- In the loft? - No, it's in the wardrobe.
Right.
What am I getting for my birthday?
Smack in the face if you ask that again.
[James] Well, congratulations. Cheers.
[Ros] Cheers. [Connor] Thank you.
[James] Congratulations.
[Gemma] Sorry I missed the reception.
Well, you saw us getting married, that's the main thing.
- My speech was really funny. - [laughing]
There was loads of laughs.
Which is not exactly what a groom is meant to be after.
But I still made you cry. Three times.
So, what's happening with school?
Karen said it's permanent exclusion but we're going to appeal the decision.
So I guess the governors...
Well, generally it's a fair process but either way, we need a quick decision
'cause Tom's got his exams to think about.
Tom? He won't have any problems with his exams.
[Gemma] Don't say that, it's really hard work.
[Ros] He always works hard. Don't you?
Well, look, the important thing is you two are back at home with friends.
Let's start looking after each other now, okay?
I'd like that.
Is Simon still about?
We're not going to see him again
because that's what Tom wants.
[Ros] But he's staying at...
We don't know where he is.
- What time are we going home? - When we're finished.
Tom was saying he might move out next year.
- Oh. - What? Why?
- It's a good idea. - Don't encourage him.
He's 16, he's grown up.
Nearly 16 and where's he gonna live?
- Find a place, won't you? - [Gemma] Money?
[James] Get a job. Claim benefits.
It's independence. People don't do it enough.
Course, you have to declare yourself homeless
before the council will help you out.
Your rent, deposit.
Technically, you need your parents' consent.
And you'd have to work all the hours of the day, I'd imagine.
I really want to go now.
[knocking]
- Oh, God. - Call the police.
No.
I'll get rid of him.
- I'll talk to him. - No, okay, okay.
- [Tom] Just get rid of him. - It's okay, I'll go.
You stay here.
It should be me in there.
[sighs] What?
It should be me with you and Tom,
- our friends, having dinner. - Right. Well, I...
- I think you know... - It's possible.
The offer still stands...
You could just decide to forgive everything.
What?
You're not the right one in this.
- We are as bad as each other. - No.
You told Kate I was trying to make her like you.
You manipulated her, you took her away from me
and it wasn't for any good reason.
- Tom wanted you gone. - It was revenge.
It made you feel good to win. That's all it was.
Okay, how does this end, Simon? Because we're outside, it's late...
It ends with us admitting we both got it so wrong,
letting it all go and getting back together.
[laughs]
Don't be ridiculous.
We're attracted to each other, so that works.
- We can be his parents again. - [scoffs]
I'll get some job, earn a bit of money.
- But we give Tom stability. - No.
When it's just the three of us together, it works. You know that.
We could decide to be a family again.
Forgive each other for the sake of the rest of our lives.
- Simon... - It's not too late.
I move back in and we just get on with it.
It'll be a bad couple of years
but we could be proud that we got him back on track.
You think that we should get back together for the sake of Tom?
Not just Tom.
You think that that's in any way what he wants?
It's what I want.
I think you do, too, really, underneath.
I brought you something.
[Simon laughs]
In this moment, my life is basically over.
- Can you take this? - No.
Please.
Thank you.
Sort yourself out and move on.
- Your life isn't over. - I don't want to move on.
We are never letting you back into our lives.
- Gemma, please. - You're ruining my evening.
How much is it gonna take for you to go away?
Fucking insulting.
You don't have any idea what I'm feeling right now.
I should choke you to death.
One minute you say how easy it would be to get back together with us
and the next minute you're saying you want to choke me to death.
That's every family, because you care about them!
Do you get what's happening?
If you leave this, if you walk away,
I will stab myself. You want me to.
Simon, don't be stupid. I didn't mean that...
Yeah, but you did. You did mean it.
It's okay, it's all right.
- Tom... - Can you come back inside, please?
- [Simon] Tom. - Mum.
Yes.
Mate, you just gonna ignore me, then, like I don't exist?
Tom.
You tell yourself these stories about how you actually are a good dad
or a good husband or whatever. And it's all total shit!
The only way you get through life is by lying to yourself,
because if you stopped, you'd realise you're a massive failure.
That is the actual truth, isn't it?
So, we're done.
You can go away now.
Tom, come back inside.
[Simon] Tom...
[Gemma sighs]
Thanks.
[vehicle approaching]
[knock on door]
You should call the police. Get an order against him.
He got the message this time. Tom...
Tom was very clear.
Good.
Look, I'm glad you called tonight.
You left before I had a chance to give this to you.
Maybe now let's call it a "welcome home" present.
- Present? - We can have a new start.
So, new things.
Oh, wow.
Oh, my God.
You wanna try them on?
Um...
You like?
I love them.
- I might just get some water. - Sure.
[sighs]
You never talk about your mum and dad.
I thought you were asleep.
I know they died in a car accident when you were a teenager.
Yeah.
16, about your age.
Right. But apart from that, I don't know anything.
What did they do?
Dad was a lecturer in history and Mum worked in a nursing home.
Did you like them?
I loved them.
Were they together and loved you?
- I think so. - Yeah.
Well, I think that even though they died, you were luckier than me.
Dad won't ever stop.
He understood. Tonight.
It's hard, I know, but...
- It's what you were feeling and... - No.
Even if he goes away for a bit, he could come back at any time.
You read stories about dads who can't see their kids.
They set the house on fire or get a knife.
- He wouldn't do any of that. - Yeah, he would.
You really thought that if Kate left him and he lost the house,
he'd just give up?
I hoped he'd just leave.
Start again.
You didn't just wanna hurt him?
No.
Punish him?
I wanted him gone.
But if you're asking do I feel guilty, I...
I didn't start this.
We were fine before he came back and started bullying me
and trying to take you away.
All I did was tell people the truth about him.
[sighs]
[Gemma] Did you talk to Tom?
Yeah.
Asked him if he was worried about the hours we're doing.
And he said...
[laughs]
He said sometimes he thinks you're not listening.
[champagne pouring]
You're thinking about work.
Sometimes, he wishes you were a bit softer with him.
Wow. Okay.
What did you say?
Uh, that you weren't just his mum, you had a job,
responsibility for a lot of people,
and he was lucky you were so talented and in demand.
Right.
You're a brilliant mum.
[glasses clinking]
Love you.
Do you want this?
Why?
So that when we're old and unhappy and in there watching TV all day,
you can remember that once upon a time we had fun.
[chuckles]
Let's never get old and unhappy.
Deal.
[sighs]
[ticking]
[footsteps outside]
[car door opens and closes]
Tom?
- What's going on? - Tom's not here.
- [line ringing] - I just heard a car leaving.
Do you think he's... He was talking about moving.
No, he'd plan for that, take his things.
Simon's taken him somehow, he's made him go.
Taken him?
Come on, it's not like Simon could've physically made him.
Threatened him or...
He's probably gone off with some friends,
some crisis he's having in the middle of the night.
He doesn't have any friends at the moment.
Why are you taking that?
In case something's happened to Tom.
- Come on, you need to stop and think. - Let go of me.
Why don't you stay here, call around, I'll find Tom.
You think I'm gonna let anyone stop me from getting my son?
- Just calm down. - Calm down?
- I'm not letting you do this. - Nobody tells me what to do.
Tom was right, I messed you around time and time again
and you just keep on coming back.
- I don't mind that. - Ultimately, you like fixing me.
- No. - Bird with the broken wing.
- No, Gemma, I like you, Gemma. - I'm not broken.
Sorry.
We're not working and it needs to stop.
I'll stay here in case he comes back.
Thank you.
[line ringing]
Tom?
- [Tom] Dad, that's mine. - Tom.
[Tom] Give it back. Give it back!
[Simon] Leave us alone.
- What the fuck are you doing? - Leave us alone.
[music playing on children's ride]
[Tom] Where are you going?
Please don't hurt him.
- [Tom] Dad. Dad! - Just please don't...
[line disconnects]
[engine starts]
[tyres screeching]
[music playing on ride]
[car alarm chirps]
- Morning. - Hi.
My husband is staying here, Simon Foster.
- Do you have his room number? - Husband?
Foster. I thought it was...
When I was here before, I used my maiden name.
- We don't have a Foster, I'm afraid. - He's with my son.
There can't be that many men checking in with a teenager.
This is urgent.
[beeps]
- 137. - Thank you.
[door beeps]
Tom?
[cars honking]
Tom?
Hey.
He said... He said he felt like killing himself.
That there was a taxi outside and if I didn't get in it, he would.
Okay, Tom. Go up the bank.
- Mum... - To the top, where it's safer.
[horns honking]
God, Simon!
If a car hits you then it could kill them, too.
Jesus, Simon, please.
Just... You... Come away from the traffic.
Please.
We can talk.
[Simon sniffles]
I wanted to talk to him but even when I'm feeling like this,
he went at me.
Now he's just watching his shit dad.
Yes, and if a car hits you,
- what he sees will scar him forever. - Don't argue with me!
All right, but now it has.
You can't stop arguing with me, contradicting me.
Let go of me.
- Jesus, Simon! - [Tom] Mum!
[Gemma] Tom, no!
Simon, please.
Okay.
Look, we can talk.
Look at me.
Simon!
- [horns blaring] - [tyres screeching]
[Simon panting]
[whimpers]
Not like this.
[talking indistinctly]
[Gemma] For Tom.
Simon.
What did you say?
- We're going to get some food. - Food?
He said he wanted us to eat together as a family and I...
I said okay.
[footsteps approaching]
- Morning. How are we all doing? - Good, thanks.
Okay. Excellent. Can I get you any drinks to start?
- Coffee? - Just some water.
- Jolly good. Sir? - A beer.
[waitress] Are you... sure?
Um, we have...
Actually, could you do a whiskey and Coke?
- Absolutely. Jack Daniels? - Jack Daniels.
All-righty. We only have Pepsi. Is that okay?
Double. Double whiskey and Coke.
No problem. I'll back in a moment to take your food order.
Where are you going to go?
Back to London?
Maybe.
You never liked it there.
No.
You'll sort stuff out. You will.
You know people. You'll find a job.
And you'll find somewhere to stay.
- You hate us, anyways. - I don't hate you.
Kate's just angry. I'm sure you'll be able to see Amelie eventually.
I don't think so, mate.
Why did you want this?
We're all just sitting here feeling shit.
What did you think was gonna happen?
[clears throat] Jack Daniels and Pepsi.
Water.
- Can I take your food order? - Yes, some toast.
- Any marmalade, jam? - Fine.
[Tom] Yeah, toast.
- Sir, some toast for you as well? - [sobbing]
Shall I come back in a moment?
- Should I... - He'll have an English breakfast.
Poached egg, two bacon, sausage, hash brown,
and he'll want some English mustard.
- And some brown sauce, too. - Sure.
I hate myself. I hate what I've done.
I hate the entire world. You have no idea.
I hope you never feel what I'm feeling now.
Did he tell you what I said?
- Why he left you and went with me? - No.
- You wanna know? - [Tom] It doesn't matter.
Look, Tom, she's desperate. She can't bear not knowing things.
You've thought about it so much. You must have guessed.
I worked it out yesterday.
I assume you went back on all the assurances you gave me
that you'd protect my relationship with my son.
It's important that he knew what you were capable of.
- Mum... - I was depressed.
I don't know if Dad mentioned the reason why I left you on your own as a baby.
It was because I had post-natal depression.
But I got better.
And I assumed, even given everything,
that your dad understood the difference between character and illness.
It just didn't occur to me that he would tell you about it,
because I couldn't imagine the psychology
of someone who would do that.
Who would hold that against you.
- You wanted me dead. - No.
- It's what you said. - I just... I couldn't cope.
- You hoped I would die. - No. I...
- [Simon] You did. - Simon.
You've forgotten but you did say it and you meant it.
I heard it at the time, never said anything
- and never reminded you. - Until now.
Dad said he had to quit his career so he could look after me.
His career. What career?
So that he could stay at home so you could work for the better.
Oh, you just say things, don't you?
[Tom] That you preferred work to me.
- You want to stand by that now? - [Tom] You do work a lot.
I remember growing up. You were always out.
And even since Dad left, it's not like you've tried to talk to me much.
I mean, with your buildings and more patients and more doctors.
And do you know what? I think it's because...
- Because I believe in what I do. - Because you want to avoid me.
I'm good at what I do and I work hard.
But I've also, despite everything, been a good mum and I...
I think one day you will realise that.
I think the only way, Tom, that I have failed you
is in my choice of your father.
And the fact that on that night when I should have been helping you,
I went back to him and I hate myself for that.
I will regret it forever.
At least I know that I have always loved you.
I've always tried to protect you.
So if you want to hate me, you hate me for the last two years.
But before that, before your dad broke it,
I was a really good mum.
[softly] Excuse me.
- Mum? - I'll be back in a minute.
You stay here.
[sighs]
It's done. As agreed.
Thanks.
What do you mean?
I'm... Paying for the room for a few days
so your dad can sort things out.
So this is it.
[Tom] What?
[sniffles] I'm never gonna see you again.
Live a good life.
I'm...
I'm really sorry for everything.
Your mum's right.
All that stuff I said, I was angry.
She didn't work too hard.
I found it difficult to stay in one job.
To put up with the bosses, in truth.
She loves you so much, she's never let you down.
I'm the problem in our family, I always have been.
So you're absolutely right, Tom.
You're so much better without me. And when I've gone,
I think you'll feel a bit sad but not for long. I think...
[sniffles]
[Simon clears throat]
When my dad died, I just felt relief
that I didn't have to worry about him any more.
That I didn't have to try and predict in what way he'd ruin my life next.
When he died, I cried,
but within an hour, I felt so much better.
That does happen. It can.
I think you're gonna feel that about me. [sniffles]
You're not gonna die.
You know what, I might as well because you're never gonna see me again.
That's what you want, isn't it? [sniffles]
You've had enough of me.
You wanna be a doctor?
Wh... What?
It's a job. I thought you'd like the idea of being a doctor like your mum.
- Well, I don't know. - You should.
[tearfully] You'd be so good at it.
Forget about me. I'm... I'm just shit.
I'm... I'm really just shit.
Enough?
Bye, Dad.
Bye, Tom.
Follow the instructions.
[car doors unlock]
[engine starts]
[sobbing]
[door opens]
[door closes]
I just want to say a few things.
Don't worry. I'm not gonna take this away.
When I'm finished, you can do what you like.
This is just some small print that I need to get through.
- I don't want to hear it. - I don't care what you want.
I'm the one who's gonna have to live with our son in agony
because his father killed himself.
And I'm the one who he will probably blame for that his whole life,
so I don't think that I'm out of order trying to have my say.
Sit down.
After my parents died in a car crash,
for a long time, I just took that at its word.
A car crash covers quite a lot of things.
And for some strange reason, I wanted to know
how they actually died.
They went under a lorry and the roof of their car
caved in on them and crushed their heads.
It would've been utterly terrifying,
incredibly painful and not instant.
I think that's why I became a doctor.
Maybe if I'd have been there, maybe I could've done something.
Probably not, but who knows?
This won't be instant, either,
because there is no painless way to die.
And the truth is we don't know exactly what it feels like,
but we do know that it will be nasty.
And once you do it, you will be over.
There is no coming back. You will just stop.
I thought about taking my own life.
In the middle of everything, I left Tom with you. Do you remember?
You called me. I was by the sea.
After I hung up on you, I walked into the water
because I wanted to drown.
But I stopped myself because I knew that it wasn't fair on Tom.
[sighs]
I grew up without my parents. I needed them and...
They weren't there.
[chuckles]
You know, a few days ago, I thought...
Maybe you can't help yourself.
Everything that you've done.
- Maybe you have an illness of some kind. - I don't.
No, I don't think you do.
No excuses.
Agreed.
But either way...
Don't do this.
Tom doesn't realise it at the moment, but he needs you.
Then why did you...
- You were quick to offer this. - I had to get you off that motorway.
The thought was already there.
You just happened to have the right drugs in your bag?
I put them in there when you took Tom away.
- Just in case. - What do you mean?
I... [sighs]
A weapon, I suppose.
I am never losing him.
If you're desperate I don't do it, why didn't you take them away, then?
Because you nearly caused a car crash.
At least this way, you'd only kill yourself.
Do you forgive me?
I won't ever forgive you.
But we will both probably start to forget.
And that's enough.
Simon.
Don't do this.
The offer's still there.
A few days to get back on my feet.
Then, take them. [sniffles]
- What? - Take them. Take them with you.
[plastic bag rustling]
Bye, Simon.
Bye.
Hey.
- Wait. - Oh.
God, thanks. Never without that.
[receptionist] Dr Angelis?
You wanted your bill?
Thanks.
Could you put my card on file? I'll pay for the week.
Sure.
[automated voice] You have three new messages.
- First new message. - [beeps]
[Karen] Gemma, it's Karen. The governors have upheld your appeal.
If you could give me a call,
we can talk about how and when Tom should come back to school. Thanks.
[automated voice] Message deleted.
You have two new messages.
- Next new message. - [beeps]
Gemma. Hi, it's Sian. I hear you're coming back,
and I just wanted to say that I'm really pleased it's all sorted out.
When you're ready, call me and maybe we can go for a drink.
Okay, bye.
[automated voice] Message deleted.
You have one new message.
Next message.
[mobile ringing]
[ringing continues]
[siren wailing in distance]
[gasps]
[Gemma] In the moment, the blood rushes down, out of your head.
It's like suddenly falling, like something giving way.
It's not like shock,
because there's the horror that somehow you knew.
Underneath.
Without realising.
The horror that this terrible thing was there.
Obvious the whole time, and you didn't see it.
Tom!
[panting]
Hi. Excuse me.
Uh, have you seen my son? I've lost my son.
His name's Tom. He's, uh... He's 15.
[officer] No, we haven't seen him. Go and stand back up the bank.
I'll attend to you in a minute.
[Gemma] And you know that now there's no repair.
No going back.
Whatever life you had, whatever fight you thought was important
now looks so naive.
[Tom] [on phone] Mum, I'm going.
I was going to move out anyway
but I've had enough of Dad and you and not knowing
and I've got no school, no friends left.
I hate myself. I just want to start again.
You went off at 17, you did all right.
You won't see me again.
It'll be better.
I think.
Love you.
[sobbing]
[inaudible]
[Gemma] What you thought had been the fight
was merely the warning.
Your biggest fear was nothing compared to this.
The weeks go past and people say it will get better.
But it doesn't.
You do everything anyone could
but somehow you know it's done. It's happened. Too late.
He's gone.
You go over the past. What you did. What you said.
Again and again and again.
What should you have done?
Did you get it wrong from the start?
Hello, Miss Roberts? Follow me.
You'll never stop going over it.
And in the end, all you can say is...
I'm here.
Tom, I'm your mum.
I'm sorry
and I'm here.
I'll always be here waiting,
when you want to come back.
Whenever you want to come back.